Friday, September 26

Strange behaviors !!!

I am here in Chennai today....
No not on a vacation, but a officially paid trip... wondering why ....
If you know me .... then Yes you are correct, its not work ...i have got no business here ... but i was here today standing in queue ..long queue .... standing in front of the US consulate with many others...

You know we Indians are too funny.... and we are interested in 2 things ...much more interested in these 2 things than what we are generally known for the 2 things that interests us other than cricket, food and force feeding guests ...
Guess !
Guessed ?

Today while I was standing in the queue , I had nothing to do for 2 hours (almost) other than to watch people around me....

And then you see a pattern ....

Ok let me tell you ... the 2 things which is most talked about :is Marriage and other is US Visa ...
And believe me there is a lot of similarities in both ...

The people you see in both occasions are anxious , nervous , butterfly in their stomach , they are
prepared in every possible way they can ... they are ready to do it because everyone says them to do so ...because everyone they know has done so... they run behind it as if that is when life begins ...
Be it marriage or US visa interview Indians want to look their best ... they get groomed , wear best clothes, polish shoes and are ready to look presentable to a stranger ......
They keep checking their watches every 2 mins just like in a marriage they wait for the Barat to come .....

There was a couple standing in-front of me in the queue .... and i was amazed to see how the guy was not letting a single drop of sweat come on his forehead or his wife's forehead .... such PDA and dabbing of sweat every 2 seconds happens between engagement to marriage Or when you are standing in front of the US consulate ....

Some of them do not know a language but are ready to leave everything behind here and want to delve into it because their Dikra / Chokra (son) is not ready to come back ....

In India if you are not married you definitely get a stare and you get double stares when you say you are into IT and never got any Visa stamping on your passport ....

Believe me i get both stares and I get one more when I say one of my passport expired and it never got stamped ....

I do not know what to make of it .. if you try to stand against the tide , you will definitely get injured badly and if you with it there is good chance you would be a part of the herd..... but somethings make me think 'What are we doing ?'

And then i am now joining the crowd for a short while....  at-least i will get one less stare now :)

Monday, June 9

I Am ....

I am 30 !
I am woman !
I am single !

But ,
I am not a Poor Girl worth any of your Pity ...
I am not there for you to feel bad about me because i am still single and never married ...

I am the one who is shying away from family functions and get-together
I am the one hiding from relatives with the question 'When are you getting married ? even my daughter who is younger has a kid now'
I am the one who is dodging from scary aunties with question 'So any Boyfriend ?'

I am the one who is strong and yet vulnerable ...

But No More !!!

I am 30 , and you might say I am eligible for marriage , but you cant tell me I am late for marriage or I should have 2 kids by now ....

I am NOT you ....

I am a 30 yrs young woman who is single and successful and happy in her life ...

I am equally thriving in my personal life, professional life and my social life ...

I am popular , I am fun
I am hard-working , I am sincere
I am a girl with dreams
I am the one who aims for the stars and shoots high .....

I will marry when I find my match ...
I will marry who respects me and whom I can respect ...
I will marry when I do not feel intimidated ...
I will marry when a guy will not feel dominated by me ...
I will marry when I will commit to myself ...
I will marry when I will be accepted with all my worth and all my flaws ....
I will marry when I am sure I can still pursue my dreams ...
I will marry when speaking of the truth will not hurt the other ....
I will marry when in the bleakest of my days someone can bring a smile on my face .....

I will marry when I will have doubts and butterflies in my stomach for the new change , but when that upcoming change still brings a smile on my face and not a

frown ...

I will marry when I have my Mr Right ..... Who would bring out the best in me .... Who would inspire me everyday .... Who would be my friend , my guide for life .....

Who would make me a better person .... Who would change me from 'happy' to 'happier' .... Who would be my company for better or for worse ... Who would be

better half ...

I will marry when I feel lucky to have That someone in my life and That someone feels lucky to have me .....

I am ready to wait till then ....
I do not write fairy tales ..... I am practical and optimistic ...
So I know I have no imaginary expectations of a knight in shining armor , but as any regular girl I need to have a partner who is a regular guy who can sweep me

off my feet .....

Is that too much to ask for ?

And my dear parents , please do not increase your BP over your daughter's marriage ...
Have some faith in her ...
She is your daughter, she has your up-bringing , she has your values and morals ...
She is successful when you have guided her and when you were her only support system ...
You have taught her respect , respect for self and others , equally ...
You have taught her to be independent , you have made her strong that she can fight her own battles ....
Once in a while she cries , but she knows you are there , she finds her strength back in you ...
And now when she takes her lessons seriously you want her to compromise ....  you want her to marry any guy who agrees to marry her ... why ... even if she has a

limb less , she still has the right to say No ....
You have always wanted her to be a good student, good at sports , the head school girl ....
When you were not satisfied with her OK grades and pushed her for better , Can she not wait for a moment , take a breather and wait for the Company she

deserves in her lifetime ....

You might say , she does not understand you and will not until she is a parent..
True ... Very True ...
But can you not understand her , you were also there once , where she is now ....
She is also fighting everyday her own battles and trying to keep her head held high ....
Don't add on to her battles ... Support her ... She needs you ... She has not known a world higher than yours ...
She has seen your love and she wants exactly the same for herself ....

Dear parents
She is not saying she is not getting married...
She is just saying don't force her the moment she is 22 .... or don't force her because she has turned 30 now ....
Do not be sad when you friends introduce you to their grand-kids ....
Do not feel shy or ashamed that your daughter is still unmarried ....
Sooner or Later she would .... And even if she decides not to one day  ... Be with her ... that's when she would need you even more .....
Do not loose you Child for the want of a Grand-Child ....

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This Post is not to offend anyone , or to say what is right or not ... What is right for me could not be right for my friend in the same generation also and vice versa ... All we ask is time and patience , till we take our own decision ... you help us guide us as parents but let the decision be ours ..... between our and our's parents there is more than a generations gap... and in India we are not very vocal about our feelings .... so this is a blog / a letter ...from our gen to our parents .... this is what we feel ..... 
If you are someone going through the arrange marriage process you can very well relate to it .... Share it with other friends and family members too so that they also know what we feel inside and are unable to express at times ....
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Wednesday, April 30

My love for Khasta Kachori !!!



Ingredients for stuffing :
1 cup yellow split Moong Dal 

Masala used for stuffing :
1 pinch of Hing / Asafoetida 
1 tbsp Zeera / Cumin seeds
2 tbsp Saunf / Fennel seeds
1 tsp Ajwain / Carom seeds
1 tsp Dhaniya / Coriander seeds
1 tsp Methi / Fenugreek seeds
5/6 red Chilli
1 tbsp Sugar
Salt as per taste
Finely chopped Coriander leaves 
2 tbsp Oil
2 Green Chilli finely chopped (optional ) 

Ingredients for outer shell of kachori :
1 cup Maida / All purpose flour 
1/4 cup Oil / Ghee / Butter 
1 tsp Salt 

For Frying : 
Oil for deep frying : sufficient amount in a wide mouth Kadai / Pan



Step 1 : Preparation for stuffing 
  1. Soak for 30 mins in warm water and cover it. 
  2. By the time the dal is soaked in water we can start with dry roasting the masala (except for hing , salt , sugar and coriander leaves).
  3. Dry Roast it till a beautiful aroma start coming and as the masala turns golden brown keep it out of heat.
  4. Keep it aside till it completely cools down before grinding it to a fine powder.
  5. After 30 mins drain the water out of dal and leave it a strainer for some time.
 



Step 2 : For the shell 
  1. To make the outer shell of the kachori , mix the flour , salt and oil /ghee with light hands.
  2. The mix would be close to a short crust pastry (not exactly but close)
  3. Now to make dough start by adding water little by little to bring the all the flour together.
  4. Keep the dough softer than what we usually make for rotis.
  5. Do not knead it.
  6. Leave it as it is , Cover it will damp cloth / lid (make sure it not exposed to air at any time)

Step 3 : Ready the Stuffing 
  1. Once the dal is completely dry , coarsely grind it in a hand blender (without any water)
  2. Put 2 tbsp Oil in a pan , add pinch of hing , add the grounded dal , the masala powder , coriander leaves , salt and sugar 
  3. Fry the dal till it turns golden and all the masala is mixed properly with dal
  4. Keep frying till it looks like a dry powder, if it looks too dry sprinkle a little water or add 1 tbsp oil to the mixture.
  5. Keep the stuffing aside till it cools down completely
                                                                                                                   
Step 4 : Making the Kachori ready
  1. Before making kachori lightly knead the dough and bring it together.
  2. Take a small portion of the dough (size of a small lemon) , and using some dry flour in hand make a small cup / bowl like structure to add stuffing
  3. Heap the center of dough with a generous amount of the stuffing 
  4. Close it like we close momo's / modak 
  5. Keep the stuffed portion on a flat surface / rolling base / chakla 
  6. Make sure to keep the side on top which has the seams (the closing side of the peda)
  7. Using fingers start patting the portion and evenly start spreading it to make it a flat tikki (You can also use a rolling pin to flatten it)
  8. Keep it thick 6 - 7 mm thick 

                                    

Step 5 : Deep Frying 
  1. When 2 to 3 of the kachoris are ready with stuffing , pour generous amount of oil (1/2 lt) in a flat bottomed pan
  2. Heat it . But it should not be smoking hot . We need it just luke warm. Keep the flame low .
  3. Start adding the kachoris to oil . The kachoris should rise slowly to the top . 
  4. Gently turn the sides of the kachori and keep doing it every 2 mins till both sides turn golden brown.
                                  

Tips : 

  1. Quick test to know if oil is in perfect temperature : take a very small / tiny portion of the dough and put it in the oil . If the dough rises to top immediately and turn brown quickly its too hot , DO NOT put the kachoris now , they will be brown on top and under-cooked inside. If the Oil is in correct temperature the kachoris would rise very very slowly to the top and slowly would puff too.
  2. Moin / Oil added to flour : The ratio of flour : oil should be 4 : 1 , ie the oil should be exactly 1/4 of the flour to make the kachoris Khasta .