Monday, June 9

I Am ....

I am 30 !
I am woman !
I am single !

But ,
I am not a Poor Girl worth any of your Pity ...
I am not there for you to feel bad about me because i am still single and never married ...

I am the one who is shying away from family functions and get-together
I am the one hiding from relatives with the question 'When are you getting married ? even my daughter who is younger has a kid now'
I am the one who is dodging from scary aunties with question 'So any Boyfriend ?'

I am the one who is strong and yet vulnerable ...

But No More !!!

I am 30 , and you might say I am eligible for marriage , but you cant tell me I am late for marriage or I should have 2 kids by now ....

I am NOT you ....

I am a 30 yrs young woman who is single and successful and happy in her life ...

I am equally thriving in my personal life, professional life and my social life ...

I am popular , I am fun
I am hard-working , I am sincere
I am a girl with dreams
I am the one who aims for the stars and shoots high .....

I will marry when I find my match ...
I will marry who respects me and whom I can respect ...
I will marry when I do not feel intimidated ...
I will marry when a guy will not feel dominated by me ...
I will marry when I will commit to myself ...
I will marry when I will be accepted with all my worth and all my flaws ....
I will marry when I am sure I can still pursue my dreams ...
I will marry when speaking of the truth will not hurt the other ....
I will marry when in the bleakest of my days someone can bring a smile on my face .....

I will marry when I will have doubts and butterflies in my stomach for the new change , but when that upcoming change still brings a smile on my face and not a

frown ...

I will marry when I have my Mr Right ..... Who would bring out the best in me .... Who would inspire me everyday .... Who would be my friend , my guide for life .....

Who would make me a better person .... Who would change me from 'happy' to 'happier' .... Who would be my company for better or for worse ... Who would be

better half ...

I will marry when I feel lucky to have That someone in my life and That someone feels lucky to have me .....

I am ready to wait till then ....
I do not write fairy tales ..... I am practical and optimistic ...
So I know I have no imaginary expectations of a knight in shining armor , but as any regular girl I need to have a partner who is a regular guy who can sweep me

off my feet .....

Is that too much to ask for ?

And my dear parents , please do not increase your BP over your daughter's marriage ...
Have some faith in her ...
She is your daughter, she has your up-bringing , she has your values and morals ...
She is successful when you have guided her and when you were her only support system ...
You have taught her respect , respect for self and others , equally ...
You have taught her to be independent , you have made her strong that she can fight her own battles ....
Once in a while she cries , but she knows you are there , she finds her strength back in you ...
And now when she takes her lessons seriously you want her to compromise ....  you want her to marry any guy who agrees to marry her ... why ... even if she has a

limb less , she still has the right to say No ....
You have always wanted her to be a good student, good at sports , the head school girl ....
When you were not satisfied with her OK grades and pushed her for better , Can she not wait for a moment , take a breather and wait for the Company she

deserves in her lifetime ....

You might say , she does not understand you and will not until she is a parent..
True ... Very True ...
But can you not understand her , you were also there once , where she is now ....
She is also fighting everyday her own battles and trying to keep her head held high ....
Don't add on to her battles ... Support her ... She needs you ... She has not known a world higher than yours ...
She has seen your love and she wants exactly the same for herself ....

Dear parents
She is not saying she is not getting married...
She is just saying don't force her the moment she is 22 .... or don't force her because she has turned 30 now ....
Do not be sad when you friends introduce you to their grand-kids ....
Do not feel shy or ashamed that your daughter is still unmarried ....
Sooner or Later she would .... And even if she decides not to one day  ... Be with her ... that's when she would need you even more .....
Do not loose you Child for the want of a Grand-Child ....

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This Post is not to offend anyone , or to say what is right or not ... What is right for me could not be right for my friend in the same generation also and vice versa ... All we ask is time and patience , till we take our own decision ... you help us guide us as parents but let the decision be ours ..... between our and our's parents there is more than a generations gap... and in India we are not very vocal about our feelings .... so this is a blog / a letter ...from our gen to our parents .... this is what we feel ..... 
If you are someone going through the arrange marriage process you can very well relate to it .... Share it with other friends and family members too so that they also know what we feel inside and are unable to express at times ....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------