Wednesday, September 14

"Aakankshya" : A short story.

Aakankshya.

Desire.

That’s the meaning of her name. Her parents named her so, when she was born after years and years of their prayers. She was their only desire after 10 years of their marriage. And she arrived 32 years ago for them in flesh and blood and they have cherished her since then.

She was the apple of her parents’ eyes and was a pampered kid. She was loved and loved and only loved. Not a single wish of her ever went in vain. If she wanted a doll, she got two. Everything ever she wanted was hers. She was doted and loved. She was cherished and protected.

Time passed and she grew up to be a beautiful girl and then a gorgeous lady. To her parents she was the prettiest pictures of all. She spent her time reading books, painting pictures, dreaming about a prince charming who would come and sweep her off her feet just like the prince in her books. She was living a fairly tale dream and her parents wanted nothing less than a prince for their daughter.

When she was in her mid twenties parents got frantic to find her a suitable match. Match makers were called, relatives and extended family informed and friends were alerted, a prince had to be found. But do you find them in this modern world? The answer was soon found to the question and it was a ‘Yes’.

They met a handsome guy, working for a multi-national, living the NRI dream; belonged to an affluent family who were looking for a match for their only son. As soon as the word reached and they saw her pictures they wanted Aakankshya to be the daughter-in-law of the family. Horoscopes were exchanged and they matched perfectly. The boy and the girl liked each other as soon as they had set their eyes on each other. It was the quickest decision she had ever taken and she wanted to be his wife and the mother of his kids. It was a match made in heaven.

The wedding day arrived and she, the dreamy eyed bride, looked absolutely stunning under the veil. The groom so handsome like a real prince came riding on a pure white horse. The entire town was invited to the wedding of their only daughter. No stone left unturned to make it the most perfect and most talked about event in the whole little town of theirs.

As soon as the wedding was over they had to leave for the groom’s place of residence. She was moving to the US. Finally her dream will come true. She and the love of her life, setting on a new journey, new adventure. They both were so excited. Finally they bid farewell to their families and said hello to their love and togetherness.

He was the perfect guy for her, and she was the perfect girl for him. They were a happy couple, totally in love. Life was good to them and they were happy with each other. She would cook for him, take care of his house, and dress up nicely for the evenings when he was supposed to return from work. He would bring a bunch of flowers or a bunch of hugs and kisses with him every day when he returned from work. They would spend the evening in each other’s arms and would talk till one of them falls asleep. On other nights they would make sweet sweet love to each other and would not let the other sleep. Life was perfect.

Days went to months and months to years.

It was almost 7 years of marriage.

Now they wake up in the same bed but at two different ends. She makes breakfast and he leaves for office. She gets on with her household chores, goes out for a walk in the evening all by herself and on her way back buys some flowers for her house to put in the vase by the window sill. She makes the dinner and keeps on the dining table and when the clock strikes 11 she comes to bed. She reads herself a book and sleeps.

He works his ass off in his office; he has dreams to buy a big house and a bigger car. He has set himself a target of the end of the year. He is sick of staying in the same 2 bedroom apartment and says ‘its time to think big’. By the time he comes back from office he is so tired he does not even have the energy to look at the clock to know what time he came in. He only knows to keep his alarm on for 8 am the next morning. Monday to Sunday all days it’s the same routine.

She often sits in her small balcony and wonders what is wrong with this house. Why he wants a big one. ‘In this tiny apartment also we have got so much space between each other already, what will happen when we have a bigger house’. She does not remember when they last kissed or when they last were holding hands while having a dinner or when he last said he loved her or when they went for a walk by the lake, but she remembers the last time he came home drunk from a office party and wanted her. She did not resist even if he reeked of smoke and alcohol. She wanted her husband to make love to her but he wanted to show his dominance over his property. She belonged to him and only him.

Days went by and the routine continued.

She thought their marriage was falling apart and needed to do something to keep it together. How about having a baby she thought. But she knew his answer. He was not ready for it and not ready for the expenses which comes with the baby. He was mentally and financially not ready for this big step. She wondered how about some vacation together, may be a change of scenery will rekindle their love. After-all he is the same guy she fell in love with once. But was he still in love with her? And most importantly, was he the same guy he once was? His absence from her life bothered her, she had her moments of doubts also, if he was cheating on her, but she discarded this thought as soon as it came. She knew he was a workaholic person and very ambitious. And she had fallen in love with him for all that once. But, then she was always his priority. Now she does not know anymore. Whenever she tries to talk to him about anything about themselves , he says he is not in a right frame of mind to handle her dramas, he says he gets his peace time very less often and she should not spoil it for him. She keeps quiet and keeps her feelings to herself. Once she used to laugh and smile, now she locks herself in bathroom and cries with the faucet on so that no one hears her, the apartment walls are really thin. She does not want raised eyebrows and his chuckles and to be a labeled ‘the stupid housewife who cries for no reason’.

The days went by.

She maintained her routine. She was her own company now and she was trying to get used to it. She missed the feeling of skipping a heart beat with his touch. She often would close her eyes and play a movie to herself, a movie of them 7 years back. She still loved him and wanted him in his life. She wished to be his priority one more time. The way he used to talk to her about their future, about his dreams; the way he treated her like a queen; the weekends when he would get her breakfast in the bed and then they would not leave the bed for hours. It was all a memory now. Some distant past and she still was holding on to them. Not knowing what happened to them and definitely not knowing where they were headed to.

One regular day when she was returning from her evening walks with a bunch of yellow lilies in hand, oblivious to the world around her. A unfamiliar voice in the elevator said ‘so you love lilies?’ She looked up to see a new but very handsome face smiling at her. A tall, well built young guy, must be younger to her she thought, holding a bag of groceries himself, smiling at her. She smiled back in courtesy and replied ‘No I don’t, but my husband always brought them for me, as they symbolize passion and celebration’. The thought of it made her eyes swell up and she turned her face to hide her tears, lest they roll down her eyes, and that too in-front of a stranger. But he did not miss any of it. He has seen a beautiful face with sad eyes entering the elevator and he felt like it was his duty to spread some love to the loveless one with yellow lilies. He noticed the way she talked in past tense when she talked about her husband bringing her flowers. The elevator reached her floor and he too was getting down on the same floor. He was her new neighbor; recently moved from India to pursue his higher studies and job.

It was now a regular thing they would bump into each other. He would always give her his best smile and greetings. This young man made her remind of her husband when they had moved newly to this flat after their one year of marriage. She started bumping into him in the park by the lake also where he would jog around like a maniac for hours when she would take her leisurely stroll and every time they cross he would invariably give her a smile.

Smiles led to small talks and laughter’s and she found a new friend in him. She could talk anything and everything under the sky with him and he too reciprocated to the topics with his two cents. They used to laugh saying ‘how weird are we’ and ‘it only takes one crazy to appreciate and admire another crazy’.

The days she met him she beamed with happiness, her loveless marriage did not bother her anymore. She would sometimes cook something special and invite her new friend over for a meal. He was more than excited to accept the offer not because she was the world’s best cook and also not because he missed home food but because he liked to see the smile on her face and the twinkle in her eyes.
Their friendship was growing stronger every passing day and now they spend more and more time together, sipping a cup of coffee or watching some stupid romantic flick and making fun of it. What they did, it did not matter as long as they were doing it in each other’s company. She knew very well that her neighbor is more than a friend to her now and she too was growing fond of him, but she discarded the notion as soon as it came to her mind saying to herself ‘he knows I am married’ .
Sometimes while watching a movie, he would sit very close, keeping an arm around her. She would not say anything. Sometimes she also felt her body leaning towards him and then she suddenly would excuse herself to make some popcorn to go with the movie.
He too understands her hesitation and says nothing or does nothing to offend her.

One day while she was almost finished making a special dinner for her husband; she sees a message on her phone saying ‘don’t wait for me, going for dinner with boss and client.’ She feels rejected. She tries to remember when last they said ‘I love you’ to each other and truly she could not remember, was it last anniversary or was it valentine’s day or was it his birthday when she said she loves him and he said thank you in response. She can’t remember. ‘Was it really that long time ago’, the thought made her eyes swell with tears.

Just then she sees another message on her phone from her neighbor ‘getting bored! L’ . It instantly brought a smile to her sad teary face. How did this guy know when she needs some company desperately and how he always knows how to cheer her up? She replies his message ‘made my special rajma, want to taste? Come over’. Reply comes ‘I am drooling already, cya in 15’.
She quickly changes clothes, applies a little makeup and checks if the house and she herself look presentable enough. Everything looks good. She feels a little butterfly suddenly in her stomach. What is that feeling?

Just after 15 minutes, she hears a knock at the door. She quickly gets up and runs to the door, or is she running to him? She opens the door to see the same young man with the big infectious smile holding a bunch of tulips. She looks at the tulips and at him, he says ‘for u ma’am’. And she could not even understand how he remembered tulips were her favorite flowers; her husband also did not know it after 7 years of marriage. She feels overwhelmed. She does not know what to say. She meekly says. ‘You remember our first conversation?’ And he says, ‘I cannot forget any of our conversations ever’. She feels at a loss of words.

She goes to the kitchen to get the dinner. He follows her. He helps her set the dinner table and they as usual talk about all the topics sense or non-sense. The dinner which usually is over in minutes with her husband, lasts for more than an hour with this friend of hers. She laughs till she cries and till her stomach hurts. And he makes her laugh till she begs him to stop because she cannot take it anymore. She loves the time they spend together, how quickly it passes they both don’t understand.

At the end of dinner it’s almost midnight and he is still here. He has never stayed this late. And today she has not asked him to leave yet. She goes to the kitchen to arrange things and call it a night. She suddenly feels an arm around her waist hugging her from behind, his other hand gently touches her hair and tucks it behind her ear tracing it all the way on her neck and shoulder and arm to hold her around her waist. He pulls her closer and his lips now kissing her on her neck, where earlier her hair was cascading. She could hear her own heart beat now, her heart thumping in her chest. She likes what he is doing, the woman in her surely is responding to his beats and groove. He does not stop kissing her neck and ear, in between he smells her hair and she knows he likes it. His arms are now holding her tight and she is melting away in his strong but loving grip. She turns her face towards him and lets her body face his. They are hardly inches away from each other. He holds her in his arms and this time her face is buried in his chest listening to his heart beat, his heart is also racing wild while a old Kishore Kumar song is playing in the background. She moved her hands on his back embracing him while she could and he is growing wild in her passion. At this moment she is no one , but a woman in a man’s arm who wants her and who wants to love her, pamper her, and as she remembered him once replying to her question ‘what does your name mean?’ , ‘it means the one who could show you heaven ;)’ and she wanted that little heaven for herself one more time.

She is just there in that moment feeling the love that she has not felt in a long while. She looks up and sees it in his eyes, there is no lust for her, but its filled with love, respect, passion. She looks deep in his eyes and she sees herself ‘Aakankshya’, she is his desire and he is her temptation. She feels him leaning closer to her, his lips reaching for hers and at the moment she makes the mistake of seeing his face, instead of concentrating on his eyes.
It’s not her husband!

She gets out of the trance and pulls herself out of his grip. He stops before his lips could touch hers. The wife in her had triumphed over the temptation and had successfully crushed a woman’s desires, aakankshya.




Thursday, August 6

1 Cup Tea by 2 ...

It is monsoon , and it was raining almost everyday the past 1 week . The people who know me also know that I have a close bond with cold and flu , and a even stronger one with tonsillitis. It rains and my friends arrive to pull me down, the sun shines bright and still they don't budge. Its almost like I am a good host to my crazy annoying friends here.

And today was just the same.

I woke up with a blocked nose and heavy head yet again. Its 3 days in a row and I am still counting days when finally I will get over them. I woke up only when my house-maid came in the morning for the daily chores , and trust me its not that I am super rich or something , in India its easy and affordable and yes it gives some sense of luxury in my everyday middle class lifestyle.

I am definitely not a morning person, and that makes it even more difficult for me to pull me out of the warm and cozy bed. The look of the sky outside is still gloomy and for sure it does not add any extra spirit for me to go and get going with the day.

Just out of bed and I get a ping from my cousin , checking up on me and how I am doing. Its sweet. Living alone is fun most days but not when you are sick. I am still lazing and brooding over the cold, not caring what my maid is doing for the day. While chatting with my cousin and mopping all over the bed trying to gather the courage to get up , she suggests me , 'go make some tulsi-ginger-pepper-clove-honey-tea' , and believe me it actually gave me some hope that someone sitting somewhere kms away cares for me and wants me to get well soon enough.

I pull myself out of the bed, drape a warm shawl around me, put on my comfy slippers and coyly slip out to face the world.

I put the biggest cup measure of water to boil with all the herbs and spices in it. Slightly awake now and getting a hold of my surrounding i see my maid is almost done with her tasks and i do notice she is not feeling good herself , coughing and sneezing with those watery eyes...

I just see her , just as she sees me. We can't really talk as we do not speak any common language. Sign language, some more action and few words here and there of English is all our conversation contains. I can't even ask her how she is feeling or can't even say her to take a day off to take rest if she needs to.

So shall I just leave her and let her suffer in her world and let me suffer in mine ?

Recovering myself from my thoughts I realize my tea looks ready. I pulled one more cup from the counter and poured the tea equally for the tow of us.

Not sure what to say, I just slide the 2nd cup towards her and picked my own; took a long wiff of the steaming tea and sipped with a surrrrd. And then I looked at her and gestured the same. This time we both took a long sip of the tea and let a sigh out almost in unison. I see she liked it. We both sip the rest of the tea in complete silence. No sound other than the blocked noses trying to breathe and the long sighs in between the sips.

Who says words are needed to communicate , we just talked in the complete silence and wished each other 'get well soon' and gathered enough courage to get started with the day. 

Friday, September 26

Strange behaviors !!!

I am here in Chennai today....
No not on a vacation, but a officially paid trip... wondering why ....
If you know me .... then Yes you are correct, its not work ...i have got no business here ... but i was here today standing in queue ..long queue .... standing in front of the US consulate with many others...

You know we Indians are too funny.... and we are interested in 2 things ...much more interested in these 2 things than what we are generally known for the 2 things that interests us other than cricket, food and force feeding guests ...
Guess !
Guessed ?

Today while I was standing in the queue , I had nothing to do for 2 hours (almost) other than to watch people around me....

And then you see a pattern ....

Ok let me tell you ... the 2 things which is most talked about :is Marriage and other is US Visa ...
And believe me there is a lot of similarities in both ...

The people you see in both occasions are anxious , nervous , butterfly in their stomach , they are
prepared in every possible way they can ... they are ready to do it because everyone says them to do so ...because everyone they know has done so... they run behind it as if that is when life begins ...
Be it marriage or US visa interview Indians want to look their best ... they get groomed , wear best clothes, polish shoes and are ready to look presentable to a stranger ......
They keep checking their watches every 2 mins just like in a marriage they wait for the Barat to come .....

There was a couple standing in-front of me in the queue .... and i was amazed to see how the guy was not letting a single drop of sweat come on his forehead or his wife's forehead .... such PDA and dabbing of sweat every 2 seconds happens between engagement to marriage Or when you are standing in front of the US consulate ....

Some of them do not know a language but are ready to leave everything behind here and want to delve into it because their Dikra / Chokra (son) is not ready to come back ....

In India if you are not married you definitely get a stare and you get double stares when you say you are into IT and never got any Visa stamping on your passport ....

Believe me i get both stares and I get one more when I say one of my passport expired and it never got stamped ....

I do not know what to make of it .. if you try to stand against the tide , you will definitely get injured badly and if you with it there is good chance you would be a part of the herd..... but somethings make me think 'What are we doing ?'

And then i am now joining the crowd for a short while....  at-least i will get one less stare now :)

Monday, June 9

I Am ....

I am 30 !
I am woman !
I am single !

But ,
I am not a Poor Girl worth any of your Pity ...
I am not there for you to feel bad about me because i am still single and never married ...

I am the one who is shying away from family functions and get-together
I am the one hiding from relatives with the question 'When are you getting married ? even my daughter who is younger has a kid now'
I am the one who is dodging from scary aunties with question 'So any Boyfriend ?'

I am the one who is strong and yet vulnerable ...

But No More !!!

I am 30 , and you might say I am eligible for marriage , but you cant tell me I am late for marriage or I should have 2 kids by now ....

I am NOT you ....

I am a 30 yrs young woman who is single and successful and happy in her life ...

I am equally thriving in my personal life, professional life and my social life ...

I am popular , I am fun
I am hard-working , I am sincere
I am a girl with dreams
I am the one who aims for the stars and shoots high .....

I will marry when I find my match ...
I will marry who respects me and whom I can respect ...
I will marry when I do not feel intimidated ...
I will marry when a guy will not feel dominated by me ...
I will marry when I will commit to myself ...
I will marry when I will be accepted with all my worth and all my flaws ....
I will marry when I am sure I can still pursue my dreams ...
I will marry when speaking of the truth will not hurt the other ....
I will marry when in the bleakest of my days someone can bring a smile on my face .....

I will marry when I will have doubts and butterflies in my stomach for the new change , but when that upcoming change still brings a smile on my face and not a

frown ...

I will marry when I have my Mr Right ..... Who would bring out the best in me .... Who would inspire me everyday .... Who would be my friend , my guide for life .....

Who would make me a better person .... Who would change me from 'happy' to 'happier' .... Who would be my company for better or for worse ... Who would be

better half ...

I will marry when I feel lucky to have That someone in my life and That someone feels lucky to have me .....

I am ready to wait till then ....
I do not write fairy tales ..... I am practical and optimistic ...
So I know I have no imaginary expectations of a knight in shining armor , but as any regular girl I need to have a partner who is a regular guy who can sweep me

off my feet .....

Is that too much to ask for ?

And my dear parents , please do not increase your BP over your daughter's marriage ...
Have some faith in her ...
She is your daughter, she has your up-bringing , she has your values and morals ...
She is successful when you have guided her and when you were her only support system ...
You have taught her respect , respect for self and others , equally ...
You have taught her to be independent , you have made her strong that she can fight her own battles ....
Once in a while she cries , but she knows you are there , she finds her strength back in you ...
And now when she takes her lessons seriously you want her to compromise ....  you want her to marry any guy who agrees to marry her ... why ... even if she has a

limb less , she still has the right to say No ....
You have always wanted her to be a good student, good at sports , the head school girl ....
When you were not satisfied with her OK grades and pushed her for better , Can she not wait for a moment , take a breather and wait for the Company she

deserves in her lifetime ....

You might say , she does not understand you and will not until she is a parent..
True ... Very True ...
But can you not understand her , you were also there once , where she is now ....
She is also fighting everyday her own battles and trying to keep her head held high ....
Don't add on to her battles ... Support her ... She needs you ... She has not known a world higher than yours ...
She has seen your love and she wants exactly the same for herself ....

Dear parents
She is not saying she is not getting married...
She is just saying don't force her the moment she is 22 .... or don't force her because she has turned 30 now ....
Do not be sad when you friends introduce you to their grand-kids ....
Do not feel shy or ashamed that your daughter is still unmarried ....
Sooner or Later she would .... And even if she decides not to one day  ... Be with her ... that's when she would need you even more .....
Do not loose you Child for the want of a Grand-Child ....

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This Post is not to offend anyone , or to say what is right or not ... What is right for me could not be right for my friend in the same generation also and vice versa ... All we ask is time and patience , till we take our own decision ... you help us guide us as parents but let the decision be ours ..... between our and our's parents there is more than a generations gap... and in India we are not very vocal about our feelings .... so this is a blog / a letter ...from our gen to our parents .... this is what we feel ..... 
If you are someone going through the arrange marriage process you can very well relate to it .... Share it with other friends and family members too so that they also know what we feel inside and are unable to express at times ....
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Wednesday, April 30

My love for Khasta Kachori !!!



Ingredients for stuffing :
1 cup yellow split Moong Dal 

Masala used for stuffing :
1 pinch of Hing / Asafoetida 
1 tbsp Zeera / Cumin seeds
2 tbsp Saunf / Fennel seeds
1 tsp Ajwain / Carom seeds
1 tsp Dhaniya / Coriander seeds
1 tsp Methi / Fenugreek seeds
5/6 red Chilli
1 tbsp Sugar
Salt as per taste
Finely chopped Coriander leaves 
2 tbsp Oil
2 Green Chilli finely chopped (optional ) 

Ingredients for outer shell of kachori :
1 cup Maida / All purpose flour 
1/4 cup Oil / Ghee / Butter 
1 tsp Salt 

For Frying : 
Oil for deep frying : sufficient amount in a wide mouth Kadai / Pan



Step 1 : Preparation for stuffing 
  1. Soak for 30 mins in warm water and cover it. 
  2. By the time the dal is soaked in water we can start with dry roasting the masala (except for hing , salt , sugar and coriander leaves).
  3. Dry Roast it till a beautiful aroma start coming and as the masala turns golden brown keep it out of heat.
  4. Keep it aside till it completely cools down before grinding it to a fine powder.
  5. After 30 mins drain the water out of dal and leave it a strainer for some time.
 



Step 2 : For the shell 
  1. To make the outer shell of the kachori , mix the flour , salt and oil /ghee with light hands.
  2. The mix would be close to a short crust pastry (not exactly but close)
  3. Now to make dough start by adding water little by little to bring the all the flour together.
  4. Keep the dough softer than what we usually make for rotis.
  5. Do not knead it.
  6. Leave it as it is , Cover it will damp cloth / lid (make sure it not exposed to air at any time)

Step 3 : Ready the Stuffing 
  1. Once the dal is completely dry , coarsely grind it in a hand blender (without any water)
  2. Put 2 tbsp Oil in a pan , add pinch of hing , add the grounded dal , the masala powder , coriander leaves , salt and sugar 
  3. Fry the dal till it turns golden and all the masala is mixed properly with dal
  4. Keep frying till it looks like a dry powder, if it looks too dry sprinkle a little water or add 1 tbsp oil to the mixture.
  5. Keep the stuffing aside till it cools down completely
                                                                                                                   
Step 4 : Making the Kachori ready
  1. Before making kachori lightly knead the dough and bring it together.
  2. Take a small portion of the dough (size of a small lemon) , and using some dry flour in hand make a small cup / bowl like structure to add stuffing
  3. Heap the center of dough with a generous amount of the stuffing 
  4. Close it like we close momo's / modak 
  5. Keep the stuffed portion on a flat surface / rolling base / chakla 
  6. Make sure to keep the side on top which has the seams (the closing side of the peda)
  7. Using fingers start patting the portion and evenly start spreading it to make it a flat tikki (You can also use a rolling pin to flatten it)
  8. Keep it thick 6 - 7 mm thick 

                                    

Step 5 : Deep Frying 
  1. When 2 to 3 of the kachoris are ready with stuffing , pour generous amount of oil (1/2 lt) in a flat bottomed pan
  2. Heat it . But it should not be smoking hot . We need it just luke warm. Keep the flame low .
  3. Start adding the kachoris to oil . The kachoris should rise slowly to the top . 
  4. Gently turn the sides of the kachori and keep doing it every 2 mins till both sides turn golden brown.
                                  

Tips : 

  1. Quick test to know if oil is in perfect temperature : take a very small / tiny portion of the dough and put it in the oil . If the dough rises to top immediately and turn brown quickly its too hot , DO NOT put the kachoris now , they will be brown on top and under-cooked inside. If the Oil is in correct temperature the kachoris would rise very very slowly to the top and slowly would puff too.
  2. Moin / Oil added to flour : The ratio of flour : oil should be 4 : 1 , ie the oil should be exactly 1/4 of the flour to make the kachoris Khasta .


Monday, September 23

Benefits of being a Gal !!!

Oh ya....

There are lots of benefits being a gal....
People treat you differently and sometimes its to your benefits.....
You come from a weaker sex .... so to enable them you get extra powers.....

Travelling in a public transport.... you deserve to sit...
In India i have seen the bus ticket conductors make sure no guy is taking the 'ladies' seats.... what a relief when u get a seat when someone else is standing ...
While travelling in a group with friends.... gals tend to get the better seats, better rooms in hotels...
The Queue in the 'ladies' counter are comparatively smaller in train stations and airport check ins....
One day you announce ...you are bored of work and don't want to work anymore... no one would point a finger and say 'do you really want to live with your husband's support' ... dare this a guy... its truly a dare.....
Try on any outfit you look amazing.... a guy try a gals outfit .... i cant stop laughing imagining that......
Whether you have a son or daughter does not matter, you would always be a friend to your kids.... That does not go very well with the dear dads all the time......
If a girl is authoritative , she is respected for her strength .. if a girl is sweet , she is still adored for her politeness ..... very rarely have i seen a extremely sweet guy being admired for his extreme sweetness .....
You can be termed as feminist ...but not really sexist ....
and for being a feminist you wont be hated by the other community (the boys) as a guy would be hated by your community for being sexist......

Its amazing being a gal.... gal power rocks....

3 yrs !!!

Its been 8 years since i have started my professional life....
Its been 12 years i have set foot in my engg college.....
Its been 14 years since i have left high school and entered college life....

and
Its been 3 years i have lived in Bangalore....

Never imagined, i will be coming down to this city to live...
I had always imagined it in my head as a city for short tours....weekend getaways....and fun with friends....

But now i am a part of it....
I am part of the high rise apartments mushrooming around....
I am part of the white collared crowd of the city...
I am part of the traffic...
I am part of the rain and the sun and the breeze which sails the clouds.....
I am part of the beauty of this city and i am part of the ugliness here.......

I still cannot relate myself as a Bangalorean ..but as they say the thing you run from is the thing you run to ....earth is round.... :(

I might still be clinging onto my past, the leisure i had..but now i think its time to move on.... and accept it as it has accepted me.....
Bangalore ..i dont hate you anymore....i am at peace with you.....give me more time i might start loving you as well....

Monday, September 24

Infidelity -Its Physical or Mental ???

yes you have read it right ...

i am asking you , whats your opinion..

in our generation we come across a lot of people which lot of twisted life events....
divorce, infidelity, extra marital affairs ..... and poor LOVE is all to blame....

there will be a lot of people judging the above group ....
they might not be part of the heinous crime as they call it extra marital affair , but among them there would be bigger lot who would want to do it but don't have the courage to so they simply blame the ones who do it...

when you ask them if its in your mind , if you are really lusting for a stranger other than your partner then are you not being incorrect and the simple answer that comes is "wanting to murder someone and murdering someone are different" so 'coz they are 'wanting' they are not incorrect but those who go beyond 'wanting' to 'doing' are the wrong ones...

But i say is murder and cheating all the same, is there not a difference between them....

If you are committed to your partner mentally and physically both are you doing the justice to them, are you in Love then ?

Tough Choices !!!

its not just me or you or your best friend , but its everyone, everyone of us are there at some point or the other....

Where choosing the right from the wrong becomes tough
When we are clouded by emotions and need time to think straight ..
When we need to know if your happiness is more important than others ..
When being selfish is Ok and when its not
When you need to be Sane and leave Insanity behind....

But these tough choices that we are forced to make , Its never easy, remember we call them tough choices ....but

if we can choose wisely....
they make us a better person than we are already .....   So for the tough decisions you have made and are about to make ..... best of luck... be sane...

Loosing Virginity !!!

In my previous post i have written about Life time of Mating, surely they are not humans :)

But at the same time there is one more discussion ......

We young generation, move too fast....
Now we make sure that no one knows we are still virgin....
loosing virginity is like a big thing for youngsters .... as if there is some exam they need to appear sometime and as much experience they can accumulate is that good....
I am not a person ..who says its wrong..
but we need to understand something more ...   Is Virginity a virtue ....
Or if loosing it is really so Cool....

If you ask me , i would say one thing....
Surely possessing Virginity is not a virtue but at the same time loosing it just for the sake of loosing it is also not so cool....

Loosing or keeping your virginity should happen only when you are a legal adult....
when you can deal with consequences if any...
and most importantly ....
you should loose it for the one person whom you love and who loves you back ..... not just for some trickster or not for the sake that none of your friends are virgin anymore..

Be witty in choosing and taking the big decision...
after all.. all our first times are memorable in their own way.... and you will definitely not like to have a bad memory....



The Lesson of True Love !!!

We have heard so many of them ....love stories...
Shakespeare has written them
Nicholas Sparks is writing them
Bollywood and Hollywood movies are creating them
Our Grandparents have narrated them...

But there are few love stories that are untold , unheard, but they exist...
Nature narrates them to us in its own ways ....

There are species like Gibbons, Penguins, Love birds, Swans , Alabatross, Turtle Doves
and can you believe Wolves , Black Vlutures and Bald Eagles also , form a life time of bonding and mating.....

We humans at some point of time were just like them ....
 fall in love , get married and consumate your love ..... then form a bond for eternity ......

Now also in many countires there is a rule to have one spouse at a time....
But then there is no rule or no concept of Mating for a life time....

When 2 swans twist their neck and form the Heart shape , they have decided for a life time of mating....
Love Birds cannot live any longer when one of them dies .....
the Gibbons are co-dominating creatures, the male and female are treated equal in their relation .....

Penguins share their responsibilities every mating season and raise their kids in unison and god forbid if one of them falls traps to the cruel nature or the predators ... the other takes on the responsibility of raising the kid and vows for 'no more love with anyone else'

But
We humans just move too fast.... living in the moment and moving on at the next chance ....
Is our love story good enough to be passed on to the next generation .....

Oppurtunity of the open Window !!!

Have you ever heard that.... the Oppurtunity of the Open Window...

There are few people who know, few understand the importance of it and then there are few who know understand it and never implement it.....

So for the ones who do not understand ....

Its when someone u have desired for sometime to be with, for someone who u have admired and wanted to be in with a relationship is suddenly avaialble, its in between decisions , in between deciding whats next and whos next and you swoop in just in time to free them from their worries....

So, wait for the right oppurtunity and dont haste into anything ruining it... (its easier said than done i know it...)

It might sound quite manupulative , but u know what they say right... everything is fair in love and war....




Independent Gal !!!


Recently i happened to watch the movie "Heroine", starred Kareena Kapoor...
A smart, independent, top-notch actress .... her journey from fame and success to being love - struck and miserable , and then her journey to downfall and struggle for revival....

But the movie shows a lot of aspects of a lady..

How she cares for one
How she is attention seeker
How she can do anything for the one she loves
How she can go mad at thoughts of loosing the loved ones
How she is watchful, careful
How she is protective
How she is manupulative
How she sometimes plays the victim even when she is not
How she go to extreme to protect the self

There are a lot of positives and negatives, there are lot of sane and insane decisions shown in the movie...

But there is something glaringly visible , oh obviously other than the faishonable clothes and the perfect bod Kareena is flaunting , and that is insecurity ....

However rich or poor , independent or not so independent , every gal craves for Love....

Love is the ruling stone for a woman, she can ruin lives and build dynasties for the simple thing Love for someone.....
However shallow she looks , however super-egoistic she is, however strong she seems, however independent she portrays herself as.... she is a soft person in the core, the person who craves for true love, seeks her true mate, her legs become shaky when she is with him and her knees go weak when he admits his love for her...

so how-much-ever cold and independent a gal portrays her , never go by looks.......
she loves to be seeked, to be nourtured , to be protected, to be pampered....

she feels powerful not when she has wealth , health , propsperity and kingdom, not when she has hordes of servants and slaves, not even when she has an army at her command.

she is powerful when she is with the one person.. who makes her feel the most beautiful , most desirable , most adorable ...when she is secure in his arms..... then she feels her true Power .......

To know she is the most vulnerable and yet the most powerful person at the same moment .......